ACT X: Back in the groove

I feel wonderful. The stupid gloomy phase that was going through my life is finely over. I feel all energized and can feel my chakra leaking through my body. One of my close friend abandoned me during this phase because of the depression leaking through me. I thought he was Naruto but he abandoned me like sasuke :(. Anyway he called me to wish me a happy birthday and it felt good

The month of Ramadan has proven good for me. It has been fun and soothing. It has also proved great for my inner gamer. I got so much time on my hands to play games. Our office closing ours are reduced to 2 pm. After that its game time. I played some memorable games like Tingles Rosy rupeeland (DS), brain Age2 (DS),MOH airborne(X360) but the one game that really got me addicted is Halo2.

I played Halo on the PC and it was a great game. Than got Halo2 on the X360. I played and liked it but didn't finished it. Than came Halo3. Now the story in Halo2 is incomplete and Halo3 builds upon it. So in order to finish the fight in Halo3 i first had to initiate the fight in Halo2. So now-a-days every spare 10 minutes i got are dedicated to playing Halo2. Just today after Sehri i didn't sleep and did my preps for the office saving 20 minutes in which i can have a crack at Halo2. I wish i can somehow take my LCD and X360 with me during Eid holidays to finish Halo2 and 3.

Yesterday was my bday and it felt good. Although i didn't celebrated it but it felt good. I had decided to buy wii on my bday as a token of love for me from me :) . But after surveying i have learnt that to enjoy Wii i need a TV :( . So no wii yet. As a gift to myself i called someone special without worrying about the outcome and it felt good. Really the secret of success and happiness lies in feeling positive.

Next time: More on Halo

ACT9:Taking it easy

Its been a while since my last post. I faced some health issues and was away from my office and cyber life. After coming back i was rusty and it took some while to get back to my old self. So i am finaly blogging again.

I have bought a PS2. At the time when i was buying ps2 i thought i was making a mistake. Even thought of cancelling the deal but it has proved a good purchase. Enjoyed some of its games a lot like God of War, Naruto ultimate ninja 2, devil may cry 3 and many more. Ps2 got a fair amount of good titles in its software library. So every second day its become a habit to buy a few ps2 games.

I bought ps2 as part of my console therapy. To escape from my real life into my other virtual self. A major incentive was to play POP Sands of time. To listen to the prince uttering the immortal lines about the ocean of time. Ironically i wasn't able to find its copy anyware.

I am planning of buying Wii. This happened when i read the article about the upcoming version of super smash bros on the wii. It looks so cool. So as soon as i need a radical departure from real life the wii will be next to my X360.

One of the best highlights has been playing BioShock. It really touched me. It has amazing moments. The shocking meeting with Andrew Ryan probably rivals and even tops liquid Snake's taunting transmission to Snake, when he unknowingly activates Metal Gear Rex or was
it Ray. The first encounter with the little sister is just too amazing an experience.

After a long while i have started communicating with myself. Sometimes one has to take care of oneself. One thing that no one can take away from you is your own self. I have learned to give myself respect. Back to the basics just like before 2000. There is nothing worse than self pity. Most people often dont know how to play our strings. So they mostly produce nosie for us rather than music. And its a fact that it sometimes cause much pain. But one has to remain loyal to oneself. And help one get through each noise bang. Just dont try to be or act happy just try to be normal. Because happiness is something else and even if one is not feeling happy its ok. Simply one should feel normal.

(Also this console therapy is proving way expensive and only wii and PS3 are left for it)

ACT8: The pursuit of Happiness

(Listening to: Suddenly i see- KT Tunstall)

I am feeling blue. Logicaly there should not be a reason for which i should be feeling blue. If i can send myself 5 years back in time and then someone was to offer me the life i have now;I would have grabbed my present life with both hands:

A well paying Respectable Job
Complete Gaming Grandslam (X360, NDS, PSP, oops no ps2 (guess thats french open for me))
Good Friends (Sameer, Evil Guy- they take me for granted but maybe thats how it should happen in friendship)
Good Health (Working out in Gym)

(Listening to: Today has been OK- Emiliana Torrini)

So i am living the perfect life. Now what have i lost that i had 5 years back

A care free life
My Family (Living away from them. Really miss them)
My PC (God it was my soulmate for like ever)

So comparitively my present life is quite Good. So why am i blue today. Nothing very drastic has happened today either.
but
even if a piano would have fallen over me this would have been a perfect day if i would have received a phonecall from a special someone. Thats happiness for you. You can have everything and still have nothing. and than you can have one thing but that is everything.

I guess sometime we ignore the good things in our life (take them for granted) and keep worrying about such aspects of our life which are beyond our control and maybe just maybe not so important. If i was given the option to trade say my eyesight for the phonecall, would i have proceeded. I dont think so. So why am i not happy that i have my eyesight? maybe because i have taken it for granted.

(Listening to: Nothing in my way- Keane)

And i am blue because of something which is beyond my control (I can't force the phonecall). Again spiritually if i really believe in God i should not be feeling blue. For something thats beyond my control will be corrected by God Himself.

So i have logically proven from the above discussion that i should not be feeling blue. However, i am still blue. And now i know the reason why? The reason is that i am a coward. I have stupid fears. Often we fear the losing or gaining of that thing which has eluded us the most. like if someone has seen a lot of misery due to poverty once that someone will get money, the fear of losing that money will be immense. I fear losing or gaining something that has always eluded me in mysterious ways (not to mention in gory ways: Olive Garden Anyone). Something that to me is true happiness because i have everything else available.

(Listening to: A small Measure of Peace - OST The Last Samurai )

It doesn't take courage to live in this world but it takes a lot of courage to live happily. Courage to not be a coward and to have trust and to keep believeing. To keep getting up again and again. To keep loving the thorns along with the Roses. To be happy with the things we have and be optimistic for achieveing what we really want. Like the common saying goes whatever doesn't kill us, it makes us stronger. I am feeling somewhat much better maybe because i have just made the phonecall myself.

ACT7: The Simple Life

I saw an anime over the weekend “Paprika”. It was directed by Satoshi Kon. I became a fan of his work after seeing “Millennium Actress”, which happens to be one of the best movies (not just anime) I have ever seen. His other movies include “Perfect Blue” and “Tokyo Godfathers”. I have seen Perfect Blue and have longed to watch Tokyo Godfathers. I was expecting a lot from Paprika but in the end it disappointed me. The movie is very well made and has a unique sci-fi theme but after watching the movie the sense of passing a good time wasn’t their. Its theme song is very catchy though. Have to search and download it.

I was able to update my X360 last week. So over the weekend I got “Ninja Gaiden”. It’s an Xbox game and is considered to be the best ever action game on any platform ever. In the past my X360 failed to run it. So after updating, I decided to try my luck again. And you know what it ran this time around. And the best part it was “Ninja Gaiden Black “, which can be thought of as a collector edition to Ninja Gaiden. In the end it was a unique experience. It’s really a great game with top notch graphics, controls, sound and Music. I had a great time playing as Ryu Hyubusa. Definitely one of the greatest action games ever made.

I have decided to start my workout. Hopefully I will join a gym today. I have brought my exercise gear with me so today will be the first day. Hope it goes well. I would be going to a gym after four years.

Yesterday talked with my father who is abroad for Umrah. He aksed me if i want something (just like old times). ever since he's there he has asked this for the third time and earlier i said i want nothing. well this time i was unable to resist (just like old times) so i told him to get a Wii with NTSC/UC region code, since its games are available in Pak. Lets see if He can get a Wii with NTSC/UC region code. My fingers are crossed.

I met someone very special last week. But I will save details of this encounter for another time.

Act6: For the Fallen

I have just bought two X360 games: The Darkness and Colin Mcrae Dirt.
The cover of Dirt reminds me of a friend of mine. On the cover the driver is standing next to a prolific Rally Car. The awesome car is manufactured by Subaru :)

Recently a great tragedy in the wrestling world has taken place. One of the premier WWE wrestlers Chris Benoit comitted suicide. Not only did he took his own life but he also killed his wife and his 7 year old son. He placed bibles next to their bodies which goes to show that his mind was really screwed over something. He than took his own life. And all of these events spanned atleast more than a day.

Chris Benoit was a face in wwe. In the wrestling Jargon a Face is a good wrestler who is fair and the crowd is behind him. The heel is the opposite of face, an evil guy who uses every dirty trick to achieve his goal. As per my knowledge Chris remained a face throughout his WCW and WWE carrer. He was taught by Bret Hart. Maybe not by him but by his older brother. So he was technically very sound. I was always a big fan of no nonsense wrestling of Benoit. I first saw him in WCW. I liked the way he would always keep going. fighting to the very end against much bigger opponents and always giving his 100%. His entrance musin was so electrifying. The moment it start playing it was awesome.

A guy who remained a face throughout his career did something so evil. There are many theories behind this event. One is the ill effect of heavy doses of steroids and painkillers on wrestlers. WWE claim that Benoit son was ill and had a mental illness which made him very upset and he couldn't handle it. Whatever the reason its a shame that a guy like Benoit had to go like this. Someone who has always remianed a hero throughout his career had to fall so low after his death. He deserved a much better farewell like the one scripted for him. Its like he tap out in real life which he rarely did in the ring

ACT5: The Blue Pill

I am a human. Well thats what i believe. Ever since i was born this has been feeded into my mind. My Parents, My teachers , My friends, The Media and every other thing have pointed me in the same direction
But
What if all of this is wrong!???
What if all of this is fake???
What if i am something else???
There can be million reasons which can advocate the above theories but still i believe i am a human coz there is a filter in my mind that doesn't allow me to think outside the box.

Should i try to find the answer???
Should i trust the signs that prove me a human???
What if they are all crafted by my nemesis???

But you know what i am happy to live like as a human. Even if it is a fake. I feel bad for those who have removed the filter and are doubting their humanity. What if the filter was put to act as a firewall to protect from viruses???

And
i see them wasting precious time exploring the other possibilities but me and them deep down knows that this is one illusion they wont be waking from

ACT4: Game Theory

One of my most favourite past times have always been playing video games (VG). I cant really pinpoint the reason but video games and animation contain something special and have always attracted me. I think its the creativity contained within them. The sense that the thing displaying before me isn't natural always sound and look cool to me. My love for VG and Animation was the major reason for adopting computers as a career.

I remeber playing handheld Video games but it all began with me getting my first console: The Atari 2600. It was awesome times. The eightees. I remember the first time i got an Atari the first match i played was with my Sis. It was Activison Tennis. Though the outcome of the match is vague as my sister claims she won it but i claim i won that encounter. Whenever my father went to Khi or Lhr on a business trip he would bring loads of new Atari games for me. Remember being waked early morning by him. He showed me Jungle Hunt. Man i really miss those days. I had so much fun with those simple 8-bit games. I bet (like every kid of my age playing Atari at that time) that i could beat anyone in the world in Atari games. Two games Riverrade and Joust were thoroughly mastered by me. Joust in particular. Had so much fun playing Joust with my cousin and lil sister during one summer vacation.

I was formally introduced to a computer in early 90's. It was Commodore Amiga. It was such an amazing machine. My Mamu use to have it. Now he lived in a different city and we use to visit our grandparents during Holidays like Eid or summer vacations. I was 007 as my uncle had given me the license to thrill i.e. i could use His computer anytime i want. Remember having so much fun with the Amiga. The game which most fondly comes to mind is Kick Off Extra time. It was a soccer game. Us cousins use to have so much fun playing Kick Off. I remember we had three official tournaments of Kick Off. And guess what Ahem yours truly won all three cups.

At my own home at that time i had a NES. It was graphically advanced than Atari but inferior to Amiga. Yet had so much fun playing Mario and Tecmo Cup Soccer Game. Tecmo Cup soccer game was under its soccer core a role playing game, full of drama. One of the most amazing games i ever played. Remember playing a Konami tank game with my lil sister on the nes. The two tanks have to defend a base and can power up. They can accidently shoot each other as well. That was the life.

Than the next machine which comes to mind is Sega Mega Drive. There are so many memories associated with Sega. Remember renting games for the first time in my life. It was a time when i was too much addicted to games. But Sega had its moments. Like playing Mortal Kombat 2: Unbelievable. My room was crowded with my cousins. Memorable games that comes to mind are Jungle strike and Comix Zone. Comix Zone was a huge hit in our gathering.

Than i got my first PC. Remember playing Jazz Jack Rabbit and WWE Wrestlemania on it. I was really impressed with wrestlemania and will never had the same thrill as i had when i played it. And then shortly after i remember playing great PC games like Red Aalert2 and Undying. But something was missing. I was all alone. No one was there to see me play Half Life or NOLF. These games were so much superior to my old favs but lacked an Audience. Remember playng them alone at my PC. Now-a-days i play the most technically Advanced titles on my X-box 360. But no one is there to admire the thrill of NBA 2k7 or admire the action of GOW.

Yes times have changed. I have all of my dream gaming consoles Xbox-360,PSP and DS but i would give for anything to be teleported some 13 years back and have a crack at my old consoles with my mates.